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Jayne Without Pity
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Other blogs you could read when you tire of me
[Battle Cat]
[Bib Guy]
[Fisherprice Man]
[Gilmore Girls Guy]
[Redheaded Stranger]
[Salieri]
[Skipper Dee]
[Toadless Boy]
[Weebsington 3000]
Below are the 10 most recent journal entries recorded in the "NAJ" journal:[<< Previous 10 entries]
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10:31 pm
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Life lessons
Here's life advice, from me to you: Do not buy a house.
Am googling selling house roof allowance "filled with rage"
Will keep you apprised of the results.
Edit: Found twitter account of home buyer, FEEL EXTREMELY WEIRD ABOUT IT.
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10:36 pm
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The Second Circuit is probably my least favorite Circuit
Really, majority justice in Thomas v. Board of Education? It was a "pasquinade"? Not just a "satire," or a "lampoon" or even an "anonymous parody"? It was definitely necessary to use the word "pasquinade"? Really? You're sure?
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09:17 pm
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Words I've been using lately
Or perhaps, overusing lately.
Word #1: Cognizant.
I use it as just a fancy way to say "aware." And who doesn't like to be fancy?
Sample sentence: "Ugh, people getting on the bus need to be cognizant of their backpacks instead of hitting me in the face with them."
How much the word irritates my spouse, on a ten point scale: Very low. No visible eye rolls or head shakes when this one is used. 0/10
Word #2: Inflammatory.
This word is great because you can accuse other people of being inflammatory if you dislike what they're saying. Thus you can refuse to engage with the statement without acknowledging its truth.
Sample sentence: "Your description of me forgetting where Starbucks is located was needlessly inflammatory."
How much the word irritates my spouse: Relatively low. 1/10
Word #3: Dreadful.
This word appeals because it conveys such a flat dismissal, especially when applied to a person or entire worldview. Extremely powerful due to its utter negativity.
Sample sentence: "Your new girlfriend is dreadful." (Ouch, right?! That's why it's such a great word!)
How much the word irritates my spouse: Was described as being a word my mom would use. 10/10
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11:16 pm
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Proposed autobiography title, part 2
Sorry I Spilled Mediterranean Salad on Your Bag: The Nearlyanyjedi Story*
*Also based on a true story
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10:12 am
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If this doesn't make you laugh, I don't even want to know you
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09:21 pm
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Variations of this scene happen to me basically every day
Time: 5:30 p.m.
[Nearlyanyjedi arrives home.]
"I have lots to accomplish around the house, better get started."
"Oh hey they're counting down the 50 best candy bars of all time on TV, definitely need to watch this whole thing."
"Yeah, Whatchamacallit was a pretty good candy bar."
"Oh I remember Charleston Chew, well not like I ate it too often but I definitely remember it being around."
"Choco-Lite? I've never even heard of that, so I'll look it up on Wikipedia, as well as doing all the appropriate follow up research of course."
Time: 11:50 p.m.
[Nearlyanyjedi goes to bed.]
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04:51 pm
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Sounds painful
"The White House on Sunday issued a blistering 500-word response to a scathing 5,000-word article on the front page of Sunday's New York Times that says..."
Is there like a Scoville unit scale for determining the relative snippiness of a communique? Or perhaps it's directly correlated to length? Like if the response had been only 100 words it would have been a scorching rebuttal, or if the NYT piece had been any longer it would have been merely a smoldering rumination?
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11:31 pm
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Recipe
Jaynimoxta
Ingredients:
Steak
Red wine
7-Up
Coca Cola
Steps:
1. Cook steak
2. Try to make red wine reduction sauce for steak; sauce fails.
3. Joylessly consume poorly sauced steak.
4. Wine bottle is open, might as well drink some.
5. Red wine is dag-nasty.
6. A red wine spritzer would probably be okay.
7. Reach into 7-Up box.
7. Despite being in fridge, 7-Up box is empty.
8. Cocksucker! Cocksucker.
9. Grab Coke instead.
10. Go 1:1 with wine and Coke over ice.
11. Yesssssss.
Optional Step 12. Leave oven on for several hours.
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10:35 pm
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Crucial update
I just caught an M&M in my mouth that my husband tossed at me. It did not take as many tries as you would think.
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12:05 am
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It's hard to sleep in this time zone
The heart is like the oxen in the yoke of personality: powerful but stupid.
Today my mom mentioned doing something with the money that was in K's college fund. My heart immediately twinged and it said "You can't do that! He might need it, because maybe he'll still come back!"
And my brain sighed and said "Heart, how many times do we have to go over this? He's not ever coming back."
And my heart said, "...maybe, though!"
The heart is a slow learner.
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