NAJ (![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} nearlyanyjedi) wrote,@ 2008-04-22 20:50:00 |
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Sad day
Today is my nephew’s 15th birthday. Or I guess today would have been his birthday, if he were still alive. If. That’s a word that has been in my mind a lot since K died. If if if.
K took his own life. Before he died, suicide was just an idea to me. Now it’s real. In a way, death was just an idea to me too. Now I know that people you love can be taken away from you, in the space between one second and the next, long before you’re ready to let them go. I know this isn’t a groundbreaking philosophical discovery, but it was a painful, cruel lesson to have to learn. I did not understand and could not understand this until now. Until there’s no time to say goodbye, to say you’re wonderful, to say I love you, to say I'm sorry, to say don’t go.
I love you, K. Goodbye.
Today is my nephew’s 15th birthday. Or I guess today would have been his birthday, if he were still alive. If. That’s a word that has been in my mind a lot since K died. If if if.
K took his own life. Before he died, suicide was just an idea to me. Now it’s real. In a way, death was just an idea to me too. Now I know that people you love can be taken away from you, in the space between one second and the next, long before you’re ready to let them go. I know this isn’t a groundbreaking philosophical discovery, but it was a painful, cruel lesson to have to learn. I did not understand and could not understand this until now. Until there’s no time to say goodbye, to say you’re wonderful, to say I love you, to say I'm sorry, to say don’t go.
I love you, K. Goodbye.
